DO-BE BLOCKS

I was watching the BYU Channel tonight. I have never had such a cool channel before so I seem to find myself watching it a lot. (that and the radio station)
ANYHOW
tonight was a talk "Parents and Self-Worth" by James D. MacArthur.
He has 10 children within a 12 year mark. Now between 24 and 37. He spoke about the dangers of Reactive Parenting. I was so touched tonight and was frantically taking notes because I knew what he had to say was so important.
For parents, grandparents and anyone else...Bare with me as I try to do him some justice in a readers digest version.
Point One: Create a Family Discussion time that does not include the children. This is a 30 minute time slot to talk about how the children are doing and how we as parents/grandparents can make them "better". He joked and said..."Put a sign on the door that says...Don't bug us. We are talking about you." LOL
Point Two: The DO-BE BLOCKS (like a pro-con list but both good)

• DO: performance equals worth ---- Rate his/her box for that week from 0-10...0 being not good. Did you fill his/her box with questions about what they did and how they did it? Did you give a dramatic reaction to the task they completed?
• BE: existence equals worth --- Rate the same as above...0 not being good. Did you make them feel that they were important for just being/existing? Did you write something special on their "personal blackboard" that week? An awesome example of giving to the BE BLOCK is writing your children AND/OR grandchildren love letters!

My Goal is to start writing love letters to each child and Robert once a week. I will also start making a big deal out of the things they do...from Jamie talking nice to Rob taking out the trash.